headscarf perk #5

Hilarious questions I’ve gotten for wearing a headscarf:

“Do you shower with it?” (absolutely; it’s great for hygiene)



“Do you have hair?” (no, i don’t need hair, i have a headscarf)



“Can you hear with it on?” (what?)



“Can I see your hair right now? Just really quickly?!” (of course, honey)

…but no.



“Do people, like, have to bow down to you while you’re wearing that in your country?” (YES, i am queen)



“Do you know the guy you’ve been arranged to marry?” (yes, he’s gorge – looks just like Chris Pine, only 50 yrs old)



“But you can take it off when you go clubbing, right?” (obviously. a girl must ‘club’)



“Omg, does this mean you can write in, like, hieroglyphic or whatever? Can you write my name?” (lion doodle, lion doodle, eagle, phallic symbol, disguised smiley face, lion doodle)

        > “Omg, you’re welcome.”




headscarf perk #4

A few years ago (give or take, who cares anyway) the universe was introduced to those bluetooth earpiece phone-thingies. You know, the ones that make well-dressed businesmen look like absolute head-cases in public venues because they look like they’re talking loudly to themselves but they’re actually wired to the earpiece thingy and are in the middle of a legitimate phone call? This guy says it all:


Okay, well GUESS WHAT. Headscarf wearers are way ahead of you. Have been for years, in fact. So here’s perk 10: Headscarves = automatic phone holders. Please, see below (and weep (jk))

Seeee??! If you look closely enough, there is a phone tucked into her scarf. Now she can ride her bike (she’s on a bike) without having to use one hand to converse on the phone. In other words, she hasn’t handicapped herself and is now a much safer rider. This makes her less of a danger to pedestrians/cars. Now, I’m not a logician, but…apparently, headscarves can save LIVES. Not even figuratively.

Here’s another one for ya. This one is an action shot of a lady putting the phone into the headscarf. Fascinating:

headscarf perk #1

You get to have that awesome feeling every day when you triumphantly remove your head scarf the minute you get home (not resentfully, of course – triumphantly). Headscarf-wearers will understand the unique pleasure in this part of the day. For non-headscarf-wearers, it’s kind of like taking your killer heels off at the end of the night after your feet have been trying to commit suicide for all the time you’ve spent walking/dancing/schlumping around painfully.

How you feel after you take your headscarf off: