headscarf perk #5

Hilarious questions I’ve gotten for wearing a headscarf:

“Do you shower with it?” (absolutely; it’s great for hygiene)

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“Do you have hair?” (no, i don’t need hair, i have a headscarf)

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“Can you hear with it on?” (what?)

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“Can I see your hair right now? Just really quickly?!” (of course, honey)

…but no.

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“Do people, like, have to bow down to you while you’re wearing that in your country?” (YES, i am queen)

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“Do you know the guy you’ve been arranged to marry?” (yes, he’s gorge – looks just like Chris Pine, only 50 yrs old)

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“But you can take it off when you go clubbing, right?” (obviously. a girl must ‘club’)

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“Omg, does this mean you can write in, like, hieroglyphic or whatever? Can you write my name?” (lion doodle, lion doodle, eagle, phallic symbol, disguised smiley face, lion doodle)

        > “Omg, you’re welcome.”

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headscarf perk #4

A few years ago (give or take, who cares anyway) the universe was introduced to those bluetooth earpiece phone-thingies. You know, the ones that make well-dressed businesmen look like absolute head-cases in public venues because they look like they’re talking loudly to themselves but they’re actually wired to the earpiece thingy and are in the middle of a legitimate phone call? This guy says it all:

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Okay, well GUESS WHAT. Headscarf wearers are way ahead of you. Have been for years, in fact. So here’s perk 10: Headscarves = automatic phone holders. Please, see below (and weep (jk))

Seeee??! If you look closely enough, there is a phone tucked into her scarf. Now she can ride her bike (she’s on a bike) without having to use one hand to converse on the phone. In other words, she hasn’t handicapped herself and is now a much safer rider. This makes her less of a danger to pedestrians/cars. Now, I’m not a logician, but…apparently, headscarves can save LIVES. Not even figuratively.

Here’s another one for ya. This one is an action shot of a lady putting the phone into the headscarf. Fascinating:

headscarf perk #1

You get to have that awesome feeling every day when you triumphantly remove your head scarf the minute you get home (not resentfully, of course – triumphantly). Headscarf-wearers will understand the unique pleasure in this part of the day. For non-headscarf-wearers, it’s kind of like taking your killer heels off at the end of the night after your feet have been trying to commit suicide for all the time you’ve spent walking/dancing/schlumping around painfully.

How you feel after you take your headscarf off: